Vox Populi

Carol Ober: For a long time, I had been wanting to create a series of portraits of my husband, who is living with Parkinson’s disease. Portraits where I honor Hal as a person – his strength and his vulnerability. And portraits where I express how it feels for me to be both a witness and a care partner in this.

It’s so easy to see any person with a disability as the other. This is true both more and less when it’s someone you’re close to. At one moment, I’m his wife. I’m seeing him as an equal, sharing my day, eager to hear his thoughts about something in my life. The next moment, I’m his caregiver. Seeing him as the other, someone I feel responsible for, a different species from me.

So I struggle daily with how to cross the divide. And how to create images that resonate without violating his dignity and our connection.

When I got home from my walk this morning, Hal was standing in the bathroom, drying himself off after his shower. He said, totally unsolicited and somewhat triumphantly, “Let joy be unconfined!” We laughed. He had said it with just the right touch of irony. And that made us laugh, bringing us joy. And so it goes around here.