These aren’t people. They are animals.” — Donald J. Trump
Secretary of Cruelty Kirstjen ‘I Put Kids In Cages and Then Lie About It’ Nielsen is out, which we’d love to celebrate except she was tossed because she wasn’t sufficiently horrifying: She didn’t kidnap enough terrified children or jail enough innocent parents or abuse enough basic Constitutional tenets or spout enough repugnant lies or adopt draconian enough methods – machine guns or fewer mylar blankets? – to stop the flood of brown-skinned misery at the border, though her status reportedly rose after she used tear gas on fleeing families. Also we’re not much up for partying because, given the current trajectory, our national horrors will likely get worse. That was made clear Monday when, after Trump earlier ditched his ICE nominee because “we want to go in a tougher direction,” he also fired Secret Service Chief Tex Alles, who reported to Nielsen and whose ears were evidently not to Trump’s liking. The changes are part of a “near-systematic purge” of the Department of Homeland Security orchestrated by sick Nazi Stephen Miller, who reportedly plans to oust several others deemed inadequately cruel in hopes of expediting the removal of all those irksome, tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free to achieve his own personal Final Solution.
In her resignation letter, Nielsen wrote that ripping toddlers away from their parents was “the honor of a lifetime.” “I can say with confidence our homeland is safer today,” she declared, thanks to “historic efforts” to “defend our borders (and) uphold our laws and values.” She also briefly lamented the “discord in our nation’s discourse” that her noble efforts sparked, evidently forgetting that a racist demagogue’s obsession with punishing poor, brown, voiceless people for a fictional crisis was behind them. In truth, Richard Wolffe writes, Nielsen was “the worst among all the charlatans, sycophants and moral sellouts surrounding Donald Trump.”
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