Guillermo will be on the Oscars red carpet this Sunday, $250,000 worth of sex toys were loaded on a freight train and then vanished, the Department of Homeland Security has been partially shut down for almost a month now, gas prices have gone up every day for the past eleven days but President Ex-Con Mobil says we have nothing to worry about, the guy who campaigned on the promise he would get gas prices down is now trying to convince us that higher prices are better, a new survey says Americans are cutting back on meals and utilities due to high healthcare costs, Trump is busy dancing with Jake Paul, yesterday our FIFA Peace Prize-Winning POTUS said that the Iran soccer team is welcome to come to the United States for the World Cup this summer, Trump is going after members of his own party, we boil down his Kentucky rally in an all-new edition of Real Moments in Presidementia, Trump dragged Melania to an event at the White House for Women’s History Month, our Secretary of War Pete Hegseth is doubling down on his crusade against the free press, and our announcer Lou Wilson went out on Hollywood Blvd to show everyone the neighborhood we love so much.