I can only answer from my experience. I dated a Persian man for a year and he can from extreme wealth. He was born here. He always tried to make his dad proud but never could. His dad berated him daily and he would cry to me about it - every. single. day. His family owned shopping centers, apartments and a construction company. He was 31 and trying to take on the family business. He was the sweetest, most kind hearted, attentive boyfriend I ever had ON THE SURFACE. He probably spent $10k on gifts for me during the relationship and always made sure I was happy- truly treated me like a princess (always opening my door, carrying my bags, etc). I’m mixed and his dad didn’t approve of me and if he pursued me, he would be disowned- even though my father is very wealthy, they said I’m an underdog because of my skin tone (I’m like Rashida Jones). He told me he would leave the family business (a lot of personal reasons too) and I mostly believed him but still planned for if he couldn’t/wouldn’t. I was smart to not change who I was or my goals for a relationship but I still believed his lies. I also was not intimate with him for 10–11 months in so I thought that had to show he truly loved me, to wait for me. But there were instances (very few) where I saw texts on his phone from another girl and he was extremely quick to have an answer, convinced me and it was only maybe 2–3 times so I believed him. He told me he wanted to get his independence and marry me. This went on for a year and I saw him work towards that goal for the most part. One day he calls me and tells me he’s looking for a job outside of the family business. 2 hours later I call him - he says he is on a date with another girl and says he’s confused. Over the last 2 weeks, he has been going back and forth saying he made a mistake and wants to get back together but at the same time was pursing this other girl. He showed a photo of her to his parents and they said she needs a nose job and is too Hispanic looking. They met her and said to use her but never marry her. Apparently he has already told her he loved her (he did the same thing with me when we first met) and could see himself marrying her. However with me, If he wasn’t telling me he loved me, he was telling that we should continue sleeping together while dating other people. To test him I asked him how long this could go on if we are seeing other people and things got serious. A year? Engagement to other people? He said he didn’t care as long as he wasn’t married. I reached out to her and told her he’s trying to pursue both of us and lying to us. She called me -apparently she had no idea who I even was (Mind you this is still only 2 weeks since that date he went on with her). I could hear him in the background telling her we broke up months ago and I’m a crazy ex that wants to ruin his life. He said I was lying about him saying anything about what his parents said about the nose job, us being together, etc. He went lie after lie after lie and was completely spinning the truth or blatantly lying to create a whole different story. He sounded SO convincing and I could not believe what I was hearing. I realized that this man was a manipulative liar that could’ve never loved me or anyone else. I have never met or heard of anyone that could be so attentive, giving and caring for someone on the surface yet lie and have no love. He had all the actions to show love but obviously not there In his heart. I’m telling you- even our friends and my family thought we were the best/ideal/perfect couple and we would be together. Everyone loved him. Anyway, she’s going to try to give him a second chance but at least I warned her.
Im trying to heal from a break up and was told by a man that’s lived in Iran - he said lying is so engrained in their culture that he expected this, even for the ones that are born here.
the Persian community is very well connected. Any marriage, party or event, even outside where they live, they are expected to attend. It’s always very high class and elegant but extremely superficial and judgmental. I never noticed anyone except whites or Persians in the photos- maybe an Asian here or there but that was a huge red flag for me. Having dark skin is considered low class. His Persian friends told him he’s proud of him for dating me but they also told him if they did that, they’d be disowned. So be wary and if you date one, don’t plan your life with them until you have met his parents AND are engaged- no matter what they say.
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