Long live the joyous revolution, soon to come!

The love boat smashed up! Vladimir Mayakovsky (1893-1930)

Cyrous Moradi

On Sunday, at 13:30, 11th February 1979 local time, when Lenin was busy writing about decades where nothing happens and week's decades happen, Revolution victory aired via radio Tehran: This is the real voice of revolution. Hypatia (350-415AD) one of the ancient times female philosophers and mathematician twitted: what is the imaginary part of revolution voice? Emilie du chatelet (1706-1749) in that night hashtaged # Alexander the great water of life.

Exactly at 3pm, Einstein was busy to find out the square root(s) of revolution, but failed and lit up his pipe. Suzan Rose Benedict, an American mathematician sneered Albert. She whispered: negative numbers have no real roots. Einstein scratched his white hairs, told nothing and kept mum.

Aristotle was in Tehran, trying to fix his tablet before giving a lecture about pure wisdom and Modernite. He smiled and showed Lenin a slide on the screen: Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. Aristotle couldn't reach the venue in that afternoon. He was searching a Greek restaurant in Tehran. At last found it in president Roosevelt Avenue just few steps far from Tehran Orthodox Church, it was closed. All waiters were in the streets  to fight with counter revolutionary forces, wearing white hats and uniform with fork and spoon and of course knives in pockets , shining red bow tie. Aristotle cursed Bill gates, added: A torch of Akbar Mashti ice cream is a good idea when everybody is busy with revolution.

In the evening all Mc Donald's fast food restaurants in Tehran changed menu and offered Russian borsch, nobody even tasted. In the lobby of prestigious Tehran Hilton Hotel, a man with dark costume tried to play a very old and heavy piano nostalgias and sad song: raining means you are coming! Just a very old Irish couple stood at the end and Crucifixioned in air. Power shut downed. Revolution was in progress. The old lady said: John! Look! The piano player is James Joyce! Man even didn't turn his head: you are crazy Madeline! This is a joyless revolution. Couple had dinner in silence.

Euclid stepped in: all these revolutions are ridiculous and nonsense. From a point out of a line in a plane you can draw just one line parallel to it. Euclid starred to Aristotle and added: Vous comprise? Aristotle said: I don't understand French. Tell all these in Greek. Euclid smiled and added: Sunday afternoon are good just for walking not rebelling.

Jose Marti sends an email to Tehran: I do not agree with 13:30. That is better time to love someone, just after a glass of red wine, but Sunday 11th February is OK with me. Making revolution is much better than going to Santa Maria church.

Maria Callas whispered: Onassis loves revolution for its thrill and excitement. Jose Marti looked deep in horizon to see a gondola, had a sip of cheap Mexico wine and at last like preachers of Sunday told to his absent audience:

“The first duty of a man is to think for him”


Augusto Cesar Sandino told revolutionary guards commander: Just change the hour of revolution, exactly at 17 local time is ok with me, we have to finish at 10pm, and I have a rendezvous. Castro opposed. Sattar Khan abstained. Bagher khan coughed up. Cromwell went to bath room in parliament house.

The day after revolution, on Monday 12th February, Stalin interviewed by Christian Amanpour. Stalin told her that death solves all problems, No man, No problem. Amanpour thanked him for giving his valuable time to CNN. Stalin smiled and added: One death is a tragedy; one million is a statistic. Stalin asked Amanpour to invite American entrepreneur to invest in Soviet Flourishing slaughtering industry. Amanpour looked to Molotov (Stalin foreign minister): How much is a tiger skin coat in Moscow black market? Beria (Head of KGB) herd and created a dossier for Molotov and Amanpour.

Dastayousky dispatched to cyberia as political prisoner. Christian asked last question before leaving Kremlin: May I call you just Joseph! Stalin smiled and told: Это моя радость. Interpreter said: That is my pleasure.

Just few months after revolution, most of the players disappointed. When the war between two neighbors flared  , Nikolai Lobachevski Russian mathematician sent  a telegraph to Tehran , saying that Euclid is making a big mistake, you can draw as many as you like parallel lines from a point out of a line .13 days later he died in Kazan , 24th February. His fellow country person Lady Sofia Kovalevskaya grieved and put on her black shirt.

On 22 September 1980, Counter revolutionary forces were in the gates of Tehran. Civil war shadow was on air. Trotsky declared permanent revolution and threatened to kill all revolution opponents like a duck. Stalin was searching his pipe under a red stool in Kremlin.

At last Carl Friedrich Gauss a noble and intelligent German mathematician found the solution: When people come from exile no matter by train or by plane, they create disasters and famine.Nikolai Bukharin told Gauss: what do you mean by Train. You mean Lenin? Gauss smiled like an innocent princess in Yekaterinburg and replied: Do you have an electronic calculator ? Texas Instruments is my favorite.

Just one month before revolution, Voltaire asked Queen Antoinette: Qui êtes-vous?  Queen respond gently : Je suis Charlie Hebdo .  Voltaire shouted! C'est vrai.

Regis Debray, 50 years ago wrote "Revolution in the revolution" you can mantle a revolution like repairing your car in a remote village in Latin America. C'est facile.

Che Guevara offered star, beret hat plus cigar and of course gun to world revolutionary forces. He forgot to mention that Cuba cigars are part of the game. He martyred in Latin America. T –shirts with his portrait are best seller for the last 50 years.

Rene Descartes French philosopher died on 11th February 1650, before revolution he used to say: I think, therefore I am. After 11th February 1979, He posted in his facebook: I don't think therefore I am not there to see all these chaos.

These days Sir Isaac Newton is busy to compute the area between the horizontal axis and revolution curve, computing its limited Integral. It is very difficult. Leonhard Euler and Pierre de Fermat is not optimist about the outcome.

Nowadays in Tehran after 36 years, weather is not as cold as it was in 1970s.It is like Athens avenues exactly what it was few thousand years ago. Everybody tries to prove that his country fellow men are crazy and mad. Nobody can remember how they used to compute the area of a square or even a circle in primary schools. They know very well how to calculate the integral of any curve. Fluid mechanic engineers are trying to write software for Tehran swage. Stench and mephitis are rulers and governors. The Persian translation of "One step forward and two steps back" is available in black market. Nobody is volunteer to read "April theses"

 Few years later Whitney Houston died on 11th February 2012. She lost her bodyguard in revolution just before revolutionary guard reach to Radio Tehran buildings in. She asked Kevin Costner just defend for few minutes. she song like a swan for the last time:

Bittersweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So, goodbye
Please, don't cry
We both know I'm not what you, you need
And I will always love you
I will always love you