A friend of mine, who has read the very little I have written for iroon, asked me recently the reason I had written more about the demonstrations in Turkey than what is going on in Iran, these days. I asked him to re-read my first piece here, and told him that I am merely a passive/reactive and impervious naazer – Estragon? - on the insipid set of this theatre of absurd, looking and waiting for something stupendous to happen somewhere out there – in Turkey, Syria, … - , that would miraculously resuscitate my stillborn existence.

Not convinced with my answer, my friend asked, “What about the presidential election in Iran, the quintessential question of 'to vote or not to vote', and all that can happen after the election?” I said, “Not even close. I have tried all that before, several times. Didn't work for me, at all. Do you remember that song, 'even drunkenness won't heal my pain'? Nothing short of a regime change will do. I have to do something about all that fat in my diet, you know?” My friend insisted, “Everyone else is talking about the election; Even those who say it doesn't matter, are talking about it! Even boycott advocates are at it again, promising their constituents that they would come back asking for their votes. Write about the difference between the reformists and the green wave activists, if you like. Write something!”

I said, “Even around here – the Mecca of virtual activism – nobody cares.” “No. No. You are wrong,”, he said, “people in Iran care about the election.” I was losing my patience with this born-again election monger. I told him, “Listen! In a top-secret document, yet to be released by Michael Snowden, NSA analysts, after listening to tens of thousands of phone calls and deciphering millions of e-mails exchanged between Iranians – suspects, militants or terrorists – have concluded that Iranians care more about the soccer match next week in Ulsan, than this week's presidential election.” “Okay, then write about the world cup qualification game between Iran and South Korea.”

I could not. Playing soccer for fourteen years, and officiating the game for another sixteen, do not qualify me as a soccer analyst. I told him, “I rather write about subject areas in which I have no experience, no formal education, and practically zero qualification.” “Like what?”, he asked. “Politics,” I answered, “is the area I can excel in. No qualification is needed. No education. Any loser can become a politico. All one needs to do is to listen to the VOA, Radio Farda, Los Angeles-based radio and TV channels, or just visit the myriad of sites that have mushroomed in recent years, in order to satisfy every Iranian kid in the candy store.” He asked, “If this is the case, what's stopping you from writing about the Iranian politics and presidential elections?” I answered, “The competition.”