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Is this your intellectual property?
I want to know how common it is for Iranian men to use excuse of Polygyny and Sigheh to have multiple sex partners. Unfortunately I have found out recently that most people I have known are unfaithful to their wives and use excuse of Islam to do it. I wonder what your experience is.
As man I agree with you. Men do anything they want as long as get the opportunity for it.
This also can be applied/asked about Iranian woman especially outside of Iran.
Most men cheat any way so why just get fixated over Iranian men?
A non scientific survey among couples that I know reveals direct connection with the person's wealth and social status, hence the sense of entitlement to the degree of disloyalty of either partner. I know we all hate what is happening to our country in the name of religion but for heaven's sake leave this one out of it.
Is having a seegheh wife - with the knowledge of the original wife-considered cheating?
Ali jan, the ones that have sigheh don't tell their wives! The ones that have more than one "proper" wife (one of 4 permanent wives) apparently must get the permission of the first wife to get another wife. I was just so shocked as to how respected these men still are among the friends they confide in. One 70 year old I know told me he only has a few years to live so he wants to enjoy it and ha a much younger "wife" (sigheh) set up in a flat he has bought for her, and he visits her every day. This is without the knowledge of the wife. I know of many more but I only recently found out because I questioned my long term friends as to how common this is.
MRX, the excuse Iranian men give is the "legality" of getting another sex partner - sigheh. People who are unfaithful to their wives usually justify it with an excuse - but the Iranians I know who do it say it is not cheating because it is allowed by islam. That is the difference.
I think sigheh is the creation of mullahs. In any case sigheh is questionable.
There is nothing complicated about this.
Not wanting to offend ladies here, but i seriously have a feeling that women are willing participants in this whole ordeal , regardless of what islam allows or what the verdict is on this.
If there were a solid and strong resistant movement on their part, i doubt any men would even think of or be tempted in any way to do it.
I really have not come across any Iranian man or woman in my circle of friends who has cheated on his / her spouse. That's just my personal experience. I've seen a few divorces. But even in those, infidelity has not been an issue. But again, that's just my experience.
DM jan, what i have been told by this man is that the young women who do this are divorced, wiowed or types who are not deemed proper marriage material. So in many cases (not all) they have little choice and need financial support because society we have built discriminates against women. For example the fact that if they are not virgins men would not marry them as "proper" wife. Also what I find disturbing is the proper wife is seen as the home maker and sigheh as play partner. ThHe proper wife gets the hard work of raising children, upkeep of the home and wifely duties like washing his dirty knickers while the man plays away with unlimitted number of sigheh if he pleases. These proper wives do not divorce as it is seen as shameful to the family name and a failure. Also the proper wives if divoced will not be that well off according to laws in Iran, they cannot cite Adultery as sigheh is legally not cheating in Islam, and these proper wives will have less chance of another Iranian man wanting to marry them. So I find the whole situation of what I see as legal prostitution detrimental to women - the proper wife and the sigheh who can be divorced quickly and disposed of. It is rare for an Iranian man to divorce his proper wife to set up home with this sigheh. The whole setup seems ugly to me.
And I cannot think of any woman who is a proper wife being happy that his rich husband is providing an Islamic service by having multiple sexual partners because he can afford to.
Brother Shepesh. As Sister amirthebigbear4u correctly remembers from her youth, "men do anything....". But as you correctly eluded to, muslem men will remain faithfull to their wives, since if they need more women, they get more wives, so long as their wealth and waist can support and handel it. and of course, as a good muslem man, so long as you have done really good deeds for Eslam, the real fun begins after you leave this world for the eternal world. Ensha Allah.
Brother Seyed, don't you think that we should change our society to accept women who are divoiced (not virgins) or widowed, so that they can be properly remarried and not exploited as temporary sex objects? Also not break the hearts of our proper wives who have spent their lives taking care of us emotionally, bringing us children? Just because they get old and put on weight does it mean we have an excuse through Islam to sleep with younger women? Is that treating women fairly and with respect? Do you not think that the children are affected if their father sleeps around and form a negative opinion of marriage and trust?
Brother shepesh.
I agree with you. As good muslem men we need to treat our women with respect and fairness. We need to protect them and make sure all their needs are met. That is why I added the condition of "good wealth and waist" in my comment.
As a disclaimer, my current financial cash flow situation does not support that kind of scenario for me. But who but Allah almighty knows what future holds for my halal kebab business?
Shepesh Jan
There are a few points in your comment i happen to disagree with:
1- We could not have possibly built a degenerate and corrupt society, when it comes to such wrongful extramarital affairs, If we did not have women's contributions to it. Admission of the fact that They have so little choice and / or they have no support is precisely what exacerbates and intesifies Such ills in our society. So in my opinion, it is them, discriminating against themselves by willfully throwing themselves in the arms of a man for support or various other reasons.
2- You have to admit that nowadays the dynamic has changed and there are many cases where it is the women who initiate the divorce process, the same "proper" wives. Apparantly, they do not view this process as a shameful one and something that causes embarrassment for the family or the society. I am not sure about them being well-off after divorce, But That is for sure is a giant step in reclaiming their lost dignity. They can always do something constructive with their lives if they continue along the path of staying strong.
3- I do tend to agree with you that men , i guess we can call them Real men, do not often wander around and start a new family!! or employ the services of other women! Because the temptation is there and that is why is so crucial , I think, That women should not give in to this and stop creating excuses as to add fuel to the fire. Women play and direct and significant role in curbing such desires.
Remember it always takes two to tango, no matter what the situation is:)
Sigheh or no sigheh, most men cheat.
Better question to ask would be: past 55, do Iranians use viagra ? Or, are they exception to the rule ? ;o))