iroon surveys are like a horoscope: they reveal something you least expect; which is fun of course, as long as you are not obsessed with them. The problem is I am obsessed with these surveys; and, I accept whatever any survey says – no exception. Even worse, I tend to generalize, and easily go as far as thinking that twenty or so participants in a survey speak for tens of thousand of iroon readers. The fact that participation is voluntary, not random, and the sample size is too small, doesn't stop me at all from generalizing. If you think these surveys are non-scientific, I'd say, “That's your problem!”
Don't cry for me iroontina! And, please don't laugh. I know, this is utterly ridiculous. I should confess, sometimes my obsession becomes acute, so that I feel convinced that these twenty plus individuals represent eighty million Iranians. For example, if seventeen out of twenty participants in a survey say that they live outside Iran, I conclude that the Iranian diaspora is sixty eight million strong! Or, if 94% of participants in another survey say they are either agnostic or atheist, I take that as the evidence that there are seventy five million secular – and, possibly democrat – Iranians.
Here is the impasse I am in: no matter how hard I have tried I can't convince anyone – with the exception of a few likeminded loonies – that 20 is equal 80 million. My failure in doing so has turned my obsession into delusion: I have reached a point whereby I feel I have already convinced everyone, even the most skeptic, that I can take the results of any survey posted in iroon, and proudly declare, “We Iranians – all 80 millions of us – are this, or that!” Of course, if you dare protesting my declaration, I will call you an agent of [you fill the blank].
A few months ago, I felt so fascinated with these surveys that I started posting my own. Very soon however, I realized that participants are generally smarter than I am. The harder I tried to devise surveys that produce only the results I wanted, the less successful I was. And, I could not take that easily - it upset me – I should admit. So, I started attacking the participants. Name calling was my weapon of choice. As it turned out, those clever participants had figured me out; or, were somehow immune to my abusive outbursts. Desperately wanting to outsmart them, I came up with a foolproof solution: I posted 'the answer' to the survey, in advance. Anyone with an above average IQ should have realized what kind of answer to my survey I expected. That hasn't worked so far – these rabid participants!
I will not give up. I will get the answer I want for my surveys. This is a promise.
Warning – If your comment is deleted, it means I did not approve of it.
What did I tell you, JJ?............it's only a matter of time before some good writers show up here.......don't eff it up this time round, buddy..........
Not to mention that not all of them are cut the same…
I especially like those that give you 7 or 8 choices that more or less says the same with the 9th option to be all of the above.
And if you don’t like my response, than you must be an agent of [blank] and have been mooching off [blank]
Mehrdad
N.B. The above warning was inspired by the deletion of Bavafa 1's comment in one of the surveys, and his own explicit (sarcastic?) promise that he would not delete anyone's comment in his posted survey. My apologies for not giving due credit, earlier.
Furthermore, no part of this blog should be assumed original. I expect to be accused of plagiarism by 'some good writers' very soon.
Good point about the iroon surveys. Except, science has nothing to do with.
Twenty votes may seem like nothing but it's something. These surveys are not scientifically accurate but they do indicate a trend of thought. And still fun to watch :)
"And still fun to watch :)"
........and it would be more fun to have the result shown only after one has cast his vote.