1. Melania files for divorce from Drumpf. It will likely be on the basis of alienation of affection (remember all those well paid hookers)! She moves fast, before Donald is impeached and his assets are frozen. She will then take revenge by dating a long list of real men with large hands!
2. Khamenei dies of an opiate overdose. He has been an opium addict for years, but considering the recent troubles in Afghanistan, Ali joon has been forced to use the synthetic Chinese stuff with dubious quality.
3. Natani-Yabu loses the April election and ends up in Israeli jail for fraud and embezzlement. His wife joins Melania for some Vegas parties with those real men with large hands (Persian Immortals)!
4. Mohammad BS kills his father, dissolves him in acid and crowns himself as the new Caliph. Donald flees to Mecca and applies for political asylum on sexual grounds (small hands).
5. Justin renames Canada as Dopeland, after the oil and real-estate bubbles burst and makes us a one-crop (weed) country.
6. Putin invades Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland, Hungary, Iran and Iraq. He then marries Melania and they are crowned as Czar and Czarina of the Soviet Union!
7. JJ wins the lottery and donates Iroon to anyone who is still left on the site.