United Stupids of America ... Trump thanks you!
1. Jill Stein: You will be handsomely rewarded by "confidential and discreet" donations for helping my oil friends cancel US contributions and committements to climate change programs. Thank you for organizing the only green movement that has actually "made love" to mother Earth!
2. Libertarian voters: thanks to you, who have helped to build the foundation of the first American totalitarian regime, to exceed the glory of Vladimir Putin's Russia. Soon all three branches of goverment will be under my seal ... libertarate this!
3. FBI and dear Jimmy Comey: Sirs, your dedication and courage to save USA from the scourge of Hilary emails will never be forgotten. Thanks for bravely contravening the bureau protocols, in order to make your last minute reminder of the emails last forever!
4. Alt-Right, KKK and other friends: Sirs, you managed to shine a bright white light on your savior. How you managed to white-wash all my black-dirt is beyond comprehension. Führer will always remember your services!
5. Stupid "balanced" media: Thank you for preserving "reportorial" balance between all Trump stories (proposal to bomb families of terrorists + racist lies about Obama’s birth + religious test at border to ban Muslims + advocating torture by military + jokes about assassination of Hilary + claims of a rigged election + threats of not accepting results + sexual assualt of women + threats to sue women who come forward with assualt stories + ... ) against Hillary’s emails.
Trump will reward you with at least 4 years of comedy and tragedy!