Thanks dear Doctor for bringing up this important matter. This is a question that i have asked myself many times, especially in recent years. I tried of find the answer, admittedly it's not so easy! I left Iran at the age of 20 and lived also in France for more than 20 years. Logically, my dependence to France should be much stronger than my devotion to Iran. As you know my husband and the two kids are French too..... So, why am I so concerned by my natal land while I have lived there only 20 years of which a few first years of childhood are not so significative? The honest answer is: I don't know yet! Is that because my first learning of the society, language, history and interaction with the people was established in there? Is that because  most of my friends and distant family memebers who are associated to my best memories, are still iving there? Is that because of my ego, when I introduce myself to the Westenders as an Iranian ? I come to the conlusion that it must be a combination of these three reasons, of which the latter one is the most important! It is in the same way (not the same degree of intensity) that when we have a belief, we want to defend it ardently. This should be at least an important part of my reasons for which I'm still so attached to my homeland. I don't want my people suffer, I love them. At the same time, I know that I can't live in Iran anymore. I love them for who they are but I know it would be difficult for me to live and stand some of their habits to which I have became so stranger.

I want to defend my people. I want them to be happy. I want the total integrity for my homeland......That is my hope. But I can't live there, not only because it is not materially possible, but also because that my mentality has been changed during years of living abroad. What can describe this paradox of us all, is the "ability" of adaptation to our new environment which during years. This produces a distance of "mentality" between us and our people living in Iran.

They have changed too! They had to adapt to their "new" circumstances since we have left the country. So.... yes. You are right! We have the same hopes for our land that our compatriots living in Iran have, even if our culture has been changed slightly.

But I can promise one thing to you, at least talking of my own case: Having both natinalities, Iranian and French, it tomorrow there will be a war between Iran and France, you will see me in Iran fighting against France, for sure! Why? Don't know well..... but think of a fight between  your own mother and the your step mother (even the nicest one)

I think (suggestion) if  you change the title of this blog, it might get more readership!

The title is not really appropriate and looks too personal :)

Thanks for the reply souri jan

It is interesting that i have gone through the exact same experience as you did, in the states, but i have totally opposite feelings. I do not even want to look at it from the angle of Honor and pride for iran and how many good and great memories i had when i was a kid, In the latter case, simply because all those people with whom we made those memories, ever so rudely and selfishely have betrayed me and my mom and dad. So there goes that one.

I don't think i would be the first one to tell you how their new and strange habits , iranians in iran i mean, have made life so unbearably unliveable for me, to the point that i am just barely getting by, and watching my days and years just going to waste. No freedom, no activities, so many ristrictions and so many things that i know for sure , it is too late for me, at this age to even get used to and view as just another common event inIran. Nope. Not for me.

But anyway, the whole point was to question why people who have lived abroad for a long time take so much pride in Iran and what it has to offer, given all the choices they have made, Given what their lives have become now. why would they not place their entire loyalty with their new country,  particularly the decision to LEAVE iran. I hear what you say, i understand your reasons, but,  It just does not make sense to me. You are familiar with my situation and know my case, but Even with that, I have not had not one day of stress-free, happy, peaceful day. and I have tried many things that were reasonable and acceptable methodes to cope. Waste of time.

This may come as shock to you, and it is a scenario that has a one in a billion chance of happening, but in case there is war, i won't be on iran's side. call it what you will, but it was in the states that i gained my independence and learned what life is all about. So i owe my everything to That nation.

It is a case of" Land of Opportunities for those who are willing to work hard vs There are no opportunities here...Go away/ or It is whatever it is Take it or leave it"

Thanks for your honest answer.

I see what you mean. now at a second thought, I think you are right.
May be I was too utopian in my last comment, or maybe too sentimental....
And may be when the time comes, i won't do what I said.
All in all, what you said make complete sense to me.
But as I explain earlier, I still have concern for my country and the countrymen, that I can't neglect.
I hope you will leave there soon and live in a country which gives you better choices and opportunities.
All the bests.

Dear Doctor,

Great blog! I think the answer is that loove of Iran is in our culture and in our upbringing. I heard it from my parents throughout my life. Regardless of wherever else we have settled (for you and I--as you know--it would be Tel Aviv), and regardless of what we do (again, for you and I that would be Mossad agents working for $7.00 per hour as some have discovered here through their extraordinary powers of deduction), we still look to Iran as our homeland.

PS- I'm heading to the headqurters later on to pick up my paycheck. You want me to pick up yours too? Mordechai in payroll said the checks are ready. I don't want you to drive all the way over there. You know how bad TelAviv traffic could be in the afternoon. Let me know.

IRAN is our motherland and we need to defend it no matter of what. Sorry some people had a hard time in there during ruling criminal mullahs. 

Even people who were born in States have emontional bonding to the their ancestorial land and their own people. That is very normal for any human being. 

I don’t know why we need to get angry and hot to prove to others that we love the country of our birth, Iran. We can say it very calmly and with a big smile. Also, we can love the US (in my case) where I’ve lived for decades and have become the person that I am because of the opportunities that have been offered to me.

Now, there are a couple of things that I’ve noticed in many Iranians. First, in order to show their love for Iran, they need to find someone and tell him that he is not as patriotic as they are. Second, in order to say how much they love living where they live, they have to say how much they hate living where someone else lives. For example, “I love living in Sweden. I hate living in California! I can never live there.”

In summary, some of us are stuck in the love/hate thing and the love of Iran is a “zero-sum game”, the more I love Iran, the less is left for you to love!

I miss the old Iran before mullah's take over . I miss the idea of Iran that may not even have existed in 1400 years  but I still can dream abut it. 

Souri jan

Thanks for your support and understanding, I wish there would be more  people who were like you.

AO dear

All parents are pretty much like that and I have had that same experience. It is a personal choice , but it was not my intention to denigrate anyone and insult them for what they have chosen to think about iran, Just that maybe it is time to rethink our priorities . Of course it is kinda ironic when i say these words, since i am already in Iran-but that happened not because i had any say in it and people like me are in the absolute minority- But I am talking  big picture here.

Yeah man , would you? and tell the boss he owes me a favor so i am gonna need more dough in my paycheck or else:) or i can always catch route 007 out that way.

Faramarz

Thank you. what you said in the first part is precisely my point. SHowing some more appteciation and loyalty.  And you are rightm, it is so overrated. Why could they not find more subtle ways to express that love and One more thing, Why do they have the tendency to literally beat it into others, and expect the same passion from them. Heads roll when someone say something bad about eeeran.

siavash khan

I get where you are coming from. Sure. Some people , even the foreign -born ones do have that connection, but emotions will wane and are shaky, you know. Making that claim does not mean much, and for all we know could be symbolic, Once they get down here and live , They can't wait to get back on that plane and run for their lives.

Thanks guys for all the comments .

Dear Doctor. Will do. I'll put in the word for your promotion too. And let the ladies that you mentioned on the other blog know that I'll bring the liqour too.

I don't think that there's any problem loving our homeland. Plus, people can like or dislike what they want. The bottom line is that we are ALL frusstrated with what has happened to our country. For you and I we really had nothing to do with the whole thing, and we are being punished for the recklessness and stupidity of the generation before us. We see the potential, and all the lost opportunties, and we say to ourselves. WTF? WHY did they do this to our homeland and our society? WTF happened? Dude, I see videos of the demonstrations and what happned back then. I see the Shah acknowledging his mistakes and trying to reform by putting Bakhtiar in charge. And then I see what the likes of Khalkhali did. Seriously, what were our parents' generation thinking? They thought that establishing a theocracy was going to bring them freedom?!!! When has that ever happen in human history?!!! Then there were all these communists who wnated a piece of Shah's flesh at ANY cost to the country. And then they s**t their pants at the first sign of trouble, put their tails between their legs, and left the country six months after their revolution...just to become West residing college professors and "political analysts." What a load of crap....

Sure AO Jan.

But tell him if he does not oblige , he will be in a lot of hot water and i will be coming for him:)

It is really not about loving or not loving Iran, as much as it is about staying loyal to the choices we have made. I was pretty much your age when all this crappy events took place and could barely recall some of it. Based on what little i can remember, It was all about A huge lack of information, Not understaning the situation, and a sense of Euphoria. You know how that goes down with some of us iranians..."He did what??? Ohhhh i have to do that tooo."

You bet that there could have been so many opportunities and Of course the potential was there, But that was all in the past. What about now? what about their currnet choice of the country they are living in? Why not forgetting all about iran and just let it be. There ain't much they can do to save it, So what is the point? All these Trips they take to "see" and "introduce" their Children to iran, to their heritaga and all that...Just puts more money In IRI's pocket and UNwittingly elevates their status. People wonder: Hey ..IF IRI Is so damn bad why do people still travel there? So...it must not be true.

Look, I know everyone has their own reason and i totally respect that, far be it from me to pass judgements on anything anyone does, But hey, u know what? To me it smells of Duplicity and a bit of Hypocricy.

Dear Doctor41,

It seems I didn't explain enough my point, so there appeared a little misunderstanding. 

During WWII, In America, there were a big resistance among German community against Roosvelt Administration in Midwestern states such as Indiana, Iowa,  where there were a large population of people from German's decendant. They were protesting against America government for fighting with their German brothers and sisters. 

During Apartheid in South Africa, there were a big support among African- American communities in support of their African brothers and sisters against white people. 

When Ho Chi minh from Vietnam asked Roosevelt Administraiton to help him to fight with Colonization of French who occupied Vietnam, Roosevellt didn't help him because he didn't want to take a side with Asians against their French blood brothers, so Ho Chi Minh ended up to get help from former Soviet Unioin to kick French out of Vietnam. 

I can go on and on to give more examples, but I stop it here. 

These are bondings. It is human nature. If someone denies it, that person doesn't know human nature.  It is NOT one day emotiion that goes away over night. It is part of our existance as a human being. 

Siavash Jan

I am arguing on a personal level, Case by case basis. I have seen  iranians staging demonstration all over europe and states and canada and they made their voices heard, but what did come out of it? Anything? Has anything changed in iran? Heck no

But all that aside, If you do a survey finding out how many of those actually moved back to iran, PERMANENTLY, you will be surprised that the numbers are not that high.

Doctor joon

Is it practical to think of iran as our homeland, while living stable lives in other places, or is that an indication of our confusion and not appreciating what we have in our lives?

It is not only us Iranians who have this attitude. I know a few nations who have a heavenly lives outside their own country but still after over 10 or 15 years still carry their own passport eventhough do not travel back to their own country.

Thanks Doctor jan for reply. It is interesting that your brought it up the subject of Iran. I was about to talk about iran after the previous comment.

Few years ago I applied to teach at "Univeristy of Art" which is located in the corner of Vali Asr(Pahlavi street) and Shahreza. This universiity was built after revolution.

On the day of the job interview I was surprised to see many Iranians who were teaching in that University have had returned to Iran from U.S.  Curiously, I asked one of them what happened. He told me that he used to go to Catholic high school in U.S,  then college. He came to Iran for visit, but he met a nice, beautiful Iranian girl and fall in love with her.  Then,  he decided to return to U.S  after marrying that girl. 1 month stay became 2 month stay and 2 month stay became 3 months stay.  All the sudden, he found the good income job, then his wife got pregnant and finally he found Iran a good place to live and never return to U.S. The guy was a good looking guy. I was thinking he wouldn't have any problem to meet someone in U.S for marriage, so the question came to my mind why he ended up to Iran. The only thing I could guess was the fact that he felt more comfortable in his own culture, his own food, and his own  people who were NOT strangers. Everything that Iran had to offer attracted him.

You don't see that crowd because they live inside Iran.

Some of them, like some of relatives,  travel back and forth to Iran, but their life and PERMANENT houses are in Iran. That has nothing to do with patriatism. NO. It is just the life style. My relatives make very good money in Iran. They don't want to change it for working hard in America and pay taxes and insurances all the time. That is what they were saying. They have a very good life style in Iran. They're saying some Iranians are staying in American for no good reason. "They have low life". As they're saying. 

In your case, if the regime changes, there is NO gaurantee that you stay in U.S.

Again, the life style is important. For example, your children are going school and you can't leave them behind and move back to Iran.

In another occasion, I met a guy who returned to Iran from California and left his son behind for continuation of his education. He didn't tell me why he,  his wife,  and 2 daughters returned. His friend told me the truth. His friend told me that the guy didn't want anyone kiss his daughters in America. He was polite about it. In other world, he didn't want his daughters bring boyfriends to his house and take them to the bedroom in the front of his eyes.

  Interestingly, The same guy became candidate for Paliament the follwoing year. He was trying to get more votes.

Yes, each individual is different and case by case has different stories. From what I am reading in your comment, you have been away from Iran for a long time and you don't see yourself ever return. That is in this situation while brutal regime threatening every Iranians.

You don't know once the regime changes what will be happens. I can tell you that much that you will be witnessing left and right  people returing back to Iran.  I am sure you will be one of those who will decide to go to Iran for visit.

Are you going to stay in Iran ? it all  depends on your circumstances.

General speaking, People get closer to their own culture and their own people once they get older and older.  Once people approach their final years in life, they prefer to be among their own people and in their birth country. Even some fishes travel thousand and thousand miles to die in the same place they were born. I read that in the National Geography book. 

Siavash jan

That was some good and long read. thanks

I don't think you are aware of the fact that i am already in Iran. Odd ha?:)) The case of that yoiung fellow who wanted to teach at that University struck a chord with me, in a reverse kinda way, and I feel the exact opposite. You are right. I was away for a long time and i always accpeted the states as my home, to the point that i never even found any joy following iranian customs. Not in a bad and negative way. It jiust was not something i was into.

Now, I am back in iran, For reasons i prefer not to discuss, and i am closing in on my 4th year. I am 44 years old and i had left iran when i was 17 years old. I have seen and followed the changes in iran, but i was happy that i was maintaining a safe distance. That was good for me. I have proven over and over to myself that there is no way i could live a decent and happy life in iran, regardless of what happens; Falling in love, gettting a good job, etc, Why? because it is a core issue,and it is deep, It is beyond cosmetics, it is beyond just taking care of all those peripheral issues.

But thanks for taking the time To write about ur observations.

Amirkabir

Ain't that a shame? To me that speaks to their level of insecurity and a deep lack of interest toward their new homes.
 

It may not necessarily relate to insecurity. People are different and as the result they may like two countries. As there are some foreigners who visited Iran and like it too. It is just a personal choice. It does not mean deep lack of interest towards their new country. 

It's done! I spoke to our field supervisor Hadassah Goldstein about the raise. She immediately picked up the phone and called Ira Silverstein in HR, and he approved it. We're up to $9.00 an hour for comments on iroon.com and $9.50 / hr for blogs. We're celebrating tonight! Get the apartment ready, and I'll bring the beer. 

روزی که به پاریس بیایی

ژنرال نباشد

 نباشد Piaff  

ایفل نباشد

پس که را خواهی جست ؟

و از این سه‌ فقط یکی‌ به جا مانده است

هر زمان که من وارد تهران میشوم بی‌ اختیار این شعر کوچه و بازاری فرانسوی را که در بالا ذکر کردم به یاد میاورم..

... روزی که به پاریس بیایی .....  

AmirKAbir

That may well be the case. But what i saying is that if a person decides to intentionally and willingly reside in a different country, then the issue of "hey you know what...I am hedging my bets and keeping my ties " kind of become moot and meaningless. It is a case of : which side of the aisle are you on?

AO

That is it??? That maaadaaaaffaaaa owes me more than this, Telll hassaa haddass ssaa... she is toast and tell...never mind i have to do this one in person...I show Ira why she was placed on this earth in the first place. can't party tonight dude. I gotta go job hunting, I ain't working for these Wh....

and then i am crashing at that new halal bar that just had its grand openning...i believe it is called "Islambeer's" or is it "suicidbeer's"

Wanna meet me there after the party?:)) I apprecite you man. Thanks for doing this .

Hold off bro. Don't quit just yet. Mossad has been good to us so far man. It pays for our apartment, all the travel expenses, our cars, and it even tells us where P-J and Bavafa live. That in and of itself is priceless.  I know the pay is low. But we've got to be patient. Economy has been tough, and all the blogs by Niloufar Parsi on iranian.com have realy hurt Israel's economy.

We'll have our monthly meeting next month. The head of operations, Moshe Goldberg, will be there. Hang on till then, and we'll talk to Moshe. Perhaps he can get us some more money. Just hang in there till then.

Ohhh....BS man:)) what travel? he never paid jack for my travel. I had to go to Abu pekh pekhhh to get that money. and the car? Yeah right. It is a rental i used my uncle's Credit card to get , so there goes that.

I know Niloo has been nothing but a APIA, but This country is stronger than this and i want some answerss...

I am gonna talk to Aaaaliii over here and see if can cut me a deal. you want in?