In this year’s crowded US Presidential campaign it’s very hard to predict which candidates will make it to the November election. One way to shrink the field down and eliminate some of the candidates ahead of the key primaries is to take a close look at the candidates’ wives and see if they look like First Ladies.
As a matter of fact, it’s very important for Americans that their President is tall, handsome and larger than life and, has an elegant and charming wife and a beautiful family. That’s why you have not seen short or bald guys like Michael Dukakis or Ross Perot making it to the White House.
Let’s take a look at this year’s candidates’ wives.
Melania Trump is a stunningly beautiful Slovenian model, but she looks more like a Bond Girl than a First Lady. With her gorgeous look and foreign accent, she fits perfectly the role of a secret agent sent by the “evil-doer” Putin to kill the US President and get the nuclear keys. That’s until James Bond shows up to lure her into the bed and you know the rest of that movie!
“Kibbutz” Bernie’s wife is just too old and looks like a woman with a stack of coupons shopping at Walmart. Not a good fit for the White House!
“Chloroform” Carson’s wife looks like someone who works at the DMV or Social Security Office and make you wait in line for hours. I just can’t see her hosting a State Dinner at the White House and dance gracefully on the floor.
Rubio’s Colombian wife is the former Miami Dolphin’s cheerleader and dancer. She looks awesome and turns heads, and “mom was a cheerleader” is part of the American narrative. So she gets a pass!
Ted Cruz’s wife is elegant and homey and the kids look good. So she passes the test too.
Kasich has probably the most attractive young family. They look perfect for the White House; baseball and apple pie.
Now, the big elephant in the room is Bill Clinton as the First Husband. Just imagine, as Hilary is attending important meetings, Bill, with nothing to do, is chasing young interns around Lincoln bedroom!
Hilary’s best friend and confidant Homa Abedin will have a full-time job following Bill around the White House!
Which Billary will be busy selling presidential pardons? Answers on a postcard....
This is my question: how much longer would it take for the American psyche to conclude: "Anyone, except Hillary"?
I vote for Trump just for the wife!
Shame! shame! Mister!
Never thought you were such a reyceest .
So you don't think this colored lady can bring home the bacon and show peoplzz who eez de boss?
WHat is the wrong weet you and how will you justify your vote as an american??
Offering mandatory civic courses for all Eyeranian -amarreekan seikos /citizens the first day anyone takes the helm at the WH baby...With plans for mandatory deportation even if you miss one question on the test:))
P.S. Is "My mom was a cheerleader" the same as "My naneh was a chadoor/chaghchoori"?
No race cars in my garage Doctor dude. I even have a Slovenian friend!
Good one Faramarz. BTW, ayatollah Cruuuz is not American born, so what's' good for the goose, is good for the gander, i.e. he shouldn't even be running!
Faramarz
You "question dodger" handsome, lady's man youuuuuu:)
Faramarz,
Rubio's wife turns heads... Cruz's wife is horney... Homa Abedin will have a full-time job blowing Bill around the White House!
what is this dude!? show some respect for our future dealers aka leaders
Hey here is an idea!!
WHat if we ask some of our "female" officials in Iran to lend a hand and keep up with our little billie.
Boy...I doubt if that basta..d will have any devices left after she is done with him. Come to mama billie boyyyy...NOW:)
Brother Faramarz.
As you know I am not into politics. But all I can say is that It is not good at all for the brother trump to allow his wife's bossoms on full display in this manner. Does she not know that one day she will become old and ugly. her bossom will hang down. she will die of old age and then have to answer back to Allsh for her sins in after life? I wish someone could translate the following for her to change her ways before she is too old and too late
فاطمه سلام الله علیها به پدرش عرض کرد: ای حبیب من، و ای نور دیدگانم، به من بگو که اینان چه کرده بودند و رفتارشان چه بود که به این عقوبت گرفتار شدند.
رسول خدا صلی الله علیه و آله فرمود: ای دختر عزیزم، امّا آن زنی که به موی سرش معلّق در آتش بود؛ آن فردی بود که موی سر خویش از نامحرمان نمی پوشانید. و امّا آن زنی که به زبانش آویخته بود؛ او کسی بود که با زبان، شوهر خویش را آزار می داد. آن که به پستان هایش آویزان بود؛ شوهرداری بود که از آمیزش با شویش پرهیز داشت و امّا آنکه به پاهایش معلق در دوزخ بود؛ کسی بود که بدون اذن همسر خود، از خانه بیرون می رفت. امّا آن زنی که گوشت بدن خویش را می خورد؛ آن بود که خود را برای نامحرمان زینت می کرد. امّا آنکه دست و پایش را به هم زنجیر کرده بودند و مارها و عقرب ها بر او مسلّط بودند؛ زنی بود که درست وضو نمی ساخت و لباسش را از آلودگی به نجاست، تطهیر نمی کرد. غسل جنابت و حیض به جای نمی آورد. خود را نظیف نمی ساخت و به نماز اهمیت نمی داد. و امّا آن کر و کور و لال، زنی بود که از غیر شوهر خویش، دارای فرزند می شد و به شوهر خود نسبت می داد. آنکه گوشت بدنش را با مقراض ها می بریدند؛ پس وی زنی بود که خود را در اختیار مردان اجنبی می نهاد و خود را بدان ها عرضه می نمود. و امّا آن زنی که سر و رویش آتش گرفته بود و مشغول خوردن روده های خود بود؛ آن کسی بود که دلّالی جنسی به حرام می کرد. امّا آنکه سرش، سر خوک و بدنش بدن حمار بود؛ آن زنی بود که سخن چینی به دروغ می نمود. امّا آنکه رخسارش رخسار سگ بود و آتش در دبر او می ریختند و از دهانش بیرون می آمد؛ آن زنی آوازه خوان و نوحه گر و حسود بود آن گاه پیامبر(ص) فرمود: وای بر زنی که شوی خویش را به غضب آرد و خوشا به حال بانوئی که شوهرش از او راضی باشد
شیخ صدوق، عیون أخبار الرضا(ع)، ج2، ص 9-11.