In this year’s crowded US Presidential campaign it’s very hard to predict which candidates will make it to the November election. One way to shrink the field down and eliminate some of the candidates ahead of the key primaries is to take a close look at the candidates’ wives and see if they look like First Ladies.

As a matter of fact, it’s very important for Americans that their President is tall, handsome and larger than life and, has an elegant and charming wife and a beautiful family. That’s why you have not seen short or bald guys like Michael Dukakis or Ross Perot making it to the White House. 

Let’s take a look at this year’s candidates’ wives.

Melania Trump is a stunningly beautiful Slovenian model, but she looks more like a Bond Girl than a First Lady. With her gorgeous look and foreign accent, she fits perfectly the role of a secret agent sent by the “evil-doer” Putin to kill the US President and get the nuclear keys. That’s until James Bond shows up to lure her into the bed and you know the rest of that movie!

“Kibbutz” Bernie’s wife is just too old and looks like a woman with a stack of coupons shopping at Walmart. Not a good fit for the White House!

“Chloroform” Carson’s wife looks like someone who works at the DMV or Social Security Office and make you wait in line for hours. I just can’t see her hosting a State Dinner at the White House and dance gracefully on the floor.

Rubio’s Colombian wife is the former Miami Dolphin’s cheerleader and dancer. She looks awesome and turns heads, and “mom was a cheerleader” is part of the American narrative. So she gets a pass!

Ted Cruz’s wife is elegant and homey and the kids look good. So she passes the test too.

Kasich has probably the most attractive young family. They look perfect for the White House; baseball and apple pie.

Now, the big elephant in the room is Bill Clinton as the First Husband. Just imagine, as Hilary is attending important meetings, Bill, with nothing to do, is chasing young interns around Lincoln bedroom!

Hilary’s best friend and confidant Homa Abedin will have a full-time job following Bill around the White House!