For the past two weekends I was invited to two Iranian dinner parties. That’s kind of unusual for me. I don’t usually don’t hang out at Iranian gatherings with this frequency. Now, as everyone here probably knows, I’m a vegan. I’ve been a vegan for almost all of my adult life. And both of these families know it. In fact, the host of the first one of the two parties knows this fact very well. That’s because I invited them to an Indian vegan restaurant not too long ago for dinner, and we had a whole discussion there about veganism and the reason why we were there—which was the fact that—again—that I’m a vegan.
Back to the party. I was really looking forward to it. And in anticipation of all the processed rice carbs that I was going to intake that night, I even went for a ten mile run in the afternoon. So, I was really hungry. I arrive there. I see other guests as well, as is the norm with Iranian parties. After a few drinks, the dinner arrives. My hosts tell me that they had the dinner catered by an Iranian chef. Sound great. I was looking forward to the professionally prepared Iranian food. But then I get to the dinner table after the hosts gleefully say “befarma’eed sham amadehast.” To my [empty stomach’s] shock, all I saw was meat. Meat everywhere. Three different kinds of kababs (koobideh, chicken and I think shami-kabab). There was also ghormeh sabzi with giant chunks of meat and a khorosh bademjoon with giant chunks of meat in it as well. My stomach churned at the sight and smell of all that meat, and in all honesty, I felt like throwing up.
Faced with the prospect of starvation for the rest of the night, I grabbed a couple of pieces of potato “tah-dig” and retreated to the corner of the room and began eating in total despair. But that’s not the best [or worst, depending on your point of view] part of the story. The best part is when the hostess saw me sitting in the corner eating my tah-dig. She walks up to me with a very concerned look and says ”fagaht hameen?” [just this?] “You want me to get you something else? You can’t just be eating tah-dig? We have all this food.” I felt like saying “WTF lady? You called and texted me a million times making sure that I could attend this party. You know I’m a vegan. You throw a giant meat party. It’s as if no one in this house can eat a dish if it doesn’t have a dead animal’s carcass in it. And you’re surprised that I’m sitting in a corner eating two pieces of tah-dig?” But of course, I kept my cool and just said “well, all the stuff there has meat in it, and I don’t eat meat.” Which, to my astonishment, resulted in this weird response: “why don’t you just eat the bademjoon? Don’t eat the meat.” This time, I answered in English: “but that defeats the whole purpose of being a vegan, doesn’t it? Plus, the smell and taste of meat makes me want to throw up. You don’t want me to be throwing up now, do you?” I think she got the message and left me alone. So, I left the party early. Thank Nature for SubWay. There was one open on my way home. I stopped by and got myself a foot long veggie sandwich.
What’s wrong with people? Why couldn’t have they made a vegan ghormeh sabzi? I make it for myself all the time. One can even buy the Sadaf prepared vegan ghormeh sabzi? The local Iranian store is a mile from their home. In fact. I drive by their house to get to the local Iranian store, where I buy the Sadaf ghormeh sabzi and also the Sadaf vegan Ghimeh. Why invite me to begin with? Just don’t invite me. No hard feelings. I really don’t care.
Anyway, you may be wondering what happened at the second party? The answer: the same exact thing. Not a single vegan dish. All kababs and meat khoroshts. But I had smartened up. I had a huge bowl of pasta before I went to the second party. So, I didn’t mind having another piece of tah-dig—and some salad, this time around. I was full already. Lesson learned.
Part of being a vegan is to suffer and accept reality or else you'll suffer more than you need to. It's a carnivorous world outside your oasis. Smile!
You are cordially invited to get on a plane come across the pond to attend dinner parties with either my wife or my sister and me, both of whom are Irooni and committed vegans. I am sometimes forced to eat vegan, and I am not neither allowed to moan nor blog about it :))
On a different note being fed up going Indian all the time when we go out, I found them a nice vegan Thai. It is delicious. They make it so you would not think there was no meat. Which begs the question why do they go to such lengths to imitate meatie food? For example Paul Mac Cartny's vegan burger chain makes a very convincing tofu frankfurter.
And when they stare you down because you have denounced foods from your so called Persian culture.....now that's suffering...
Indeed a meat-eaters world we live in.
Being a vegan or vegetarian are both new and strange in our culture of bokhor-bokhor. At the very least, they could have fixed you a separate dish but it seems like they don't understand the principles of veganism.
BTW, the only problem with canned persian food (or any food) is the real high sodium contents and Sadaf is no exception. Otherwise, the canned/jarred stuff can be pretty good.
It is admirable to know you are a vegan for two reasons;
- You have been a vegan for a long time. It is admirable because I know someone close to me that is also a vegan. It is difficult to live in a carnivorous world and being both Iranian and vegan.
- You also have energy to go for a ten miles run. That is good because it indicates to me you are eating the correct amount of permited foods.
I have not read the rest of your blog since I don't have time so I can not comment but probably will not agree to all of your writing since know you a bit.
You made me jealous and that was not because of your foot long veggie sandwich. I however know how you must have felt. I was once taken to a vegetarian restaurant after a night of drinking and wanted to shove the meatless menu in the face of the companion who had taken me there.
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Vegan_vs_Vegetarian
If I were you AO, I would just go to the kitchen, look in the frig and the pantry, grab a few things and start cooking! Sautéed vegetables over basmati rice and Tahdig with a side of Salad Shirazi and CooCoo Sabzi!
Thank you all for the comments. I really felt like I was some sort of a research subject at that party. I felt like I was brought in for an experminet of some sort. "Let's get the vegan subject in here when the subject really hungry and offer the subject nothing but dishes full of meat. Let's see how the subject responds." Seriously, for a moment when I approached the dinner table, I looked around to see if everyone else was watching to see how I reacted. But then I noticed...na...there were just stuffing their plates--and their faces---with kabab.
Dear JJ- While it's definitely a carnivor's world out there, one can easily find vegan options almost everywhere in the U.S.---except for the parties that I've been to recently apparently.
Dear Fozolie--I will take you up on that offer next time I cross the pond. I'm glad that your wife and sister are vegans. Must be tough on you! Anyway, a friend of mine here actually owns a real nice Thai restaurant and makes some amazing vegan dishes there. I go there quite often. Also, I was in LA about a year and a half ago for work for a couple of days and I went to one of the Iranian restaurants on Westwood (Shamshiri may be?), and they had a good vegan Persian food menu. I had the cegan fesenjoon. It was pretty good.
Dear Mehrdad- Iranian dishes are very meat heavy unfortunately. So are American dishes for that matter. I just don't eat meat. It's not a cultural thing. But I understand your sentiment, and the ngative view of the rejection of the food by some culturally sensitive folks.
Dear COP--I know. tell me about it. The concept of veganism is not widespread in our culture. After 23 years of watching me--and for parts of it, raising me--My parents STILL try to feed me kababs every time I travel back home down south. My dad has his "manghal" with "sikhs" of kabab on it. he then walks up to me nonchalantly, points at the kabab on the fire, and syas--really quitely--"you know, that's organic meat. really fresh. You want to try a piece?" I usually just smile and walk away. It's like they think I'm gay and they're trying to straighten me up. I think that's how they view vegnaism. It's so funny. Every time they come up north to visit me, I take them to good pizza places. I usually get the red, no cheese pizza. My mom makes a point of ordering pizza with some sort of meat on it. Ah...I'm so glad I live a thousand miles away so I don't have o deal with that nonsense...My relatives in Iran are really good about it though. They know I don;t eat meat, and they go out of their way every time I go to Iran to accomodate me. They're excellent actually. They always make me meatless khoroshts, etc. This couple here though were totally f**king clueless--intentionally or unitentionally, which is kind of odd because they are both well educated with PhD's...so I don't know.
Dear Amirkabir-It's OK. You don't have to agree with me on everything. This is not the IR. I gave you a thumbs up for your comment. You really don't eat meat to get the calories needed for running. You can get that from grains, rice, bread, etc. or potatoes. And I run to keep healthy. I also bike and kayak. For protein, there are many sources. Nuts, grains (to some extent), avocados, peas--I do shales with pea protein and almond milk. There are many ways to do it.
Dear Divaneh: Thanks for the comment. To each his/her own I guess.
Dear L_A. Thanks for the link. I'm a vegan. I do occasionally cheat with pastries though. Once in a while I have a piece of pastry for dairy or egg products in it, or some ice cream. That's once in a blue moon though.
Dear Faramarz: That's funny. I actually went into the kitchen looking for something to eat. I didn't find anything though, and I don't know these people well enough to have gone through their fridge. They did have dates though. I had a few of those. I'm telling you dude, that party was a disaster. You know how you actually get pissed off when you're starving? That's how I felt.
AO
I have beem admonished many times by Iranian female cooks (kadbanoos) and their servile hubbies for expressing concern about too much grease and red meat. They both expected unquestionable servitude to "your own" culture.
PS. Most of those hubbies are now on extreme medications or have already quit meat and rice. Some already kicked the bucket.
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